Monday, October 04, 2004

you're not right in the head, and nor am I...

It's Monday again. They just keep rolling around, don't they?

I had jury duty this morning which generally makes people go "UGH" at the very thought, but it was okay. I got to stop at Starbucks and then go sit in a room and read my book for two hours. I think phasing in my day every morning would be nice. Have two hours to sit still in a room reading a good book and drinking a delicious Vente Latte. Life could be worse.

When the judge explained that we were there for a grand jury (meaning you serve for three months and decide if cases go to trial, etc. You never get to say "GUILTY!" or "INNOCENT!" you only get to say "potentially..." and then they go on to face the "jury of their peers" and all that balhooey) I started to get nervous. Three months! In a courthouse! With no Internet! Ack. I know I just said I don't like admin and I am tired of it and blah blah blah, but I realize I am very lucky. I am able to do all this OTHER stuff on the company dime (shhh) and do it from a comfy office with Morrissey serenading me from my tiny speakers all the while. It's pretty okay. And it is a nice cushion while I try to decide what to do NEXT.

I explained to the judge that I was a contractor and, yes, (thank God) I make more than $50 a day, and she let me go. The bailiff (is a woman called a bailiff too? I think so) said "see you in three years!" as I left the courtroom and took my book and coffee with me, passing the poor folks who weren't as lucky as me. Three months in a little room with strangers, no thanks! I would rather type here and send this out into the void to OTHER strangers. Hey, at least I can't see you. Pick your nose if you want, I don't care!

Tonight, Mug and I go to see Morrissey. I am very excited. I am sure the show will be filled with emo-boys wearing black and looking depressed and let down by life, but Mug and I will fill it with our shiny brightness and our love of music that is good and meaningful. I can't describe how much I LOVE (love LOOOOVE!) you are the quarry - it has been on repeat basically all summer (except for the times I was playing Franz Ferdinand) and I know every breath by heart now. There is a point in The World is Full of Crashing Bores (the moment at 3:18 into the song) where it reaches crescendo and I get goosebumps EVERY TIME. I know if he sings it tonight, I won't be able to NOT cry. Like how I cried both times I heard Liz Phair sing "Perfect World" and Elvis Costello sing "I Want You" and the list goes on and on. What is about music? can't really say and I guess that is the point, I'm not sure I could ever put in words what it means to my life, and I am not sure I want too. It's just perfect the way it is.

"no one I ever knew or have spoken to resembles you,
this is good or bad all depending on my general mood,
why do you think I get away with all the things you say to me?
Could it be I like you?"

because I said so