Tuesday, October 12, 2004

be sure to wear a flower in your hair...

Delaine and Fred are moving to San Francisco in a few weeks and last night I was falling asleep and thinking about how very different my life would be if I had never been friends with her.

When I moved back to Boston from California in 1998 Delaine lived upstairs from me. The first day I lived there, we had a "family" yard sale and I came outside and Delaine and I sat on the stairs chatting.

I remember going to so many Babaloo shows that first year I was back. Delaine was one person who was always up for going with me. For dancing in the front row, for pushing me up to the stage. She was the reason I knew Babaloo at all, and somehow it all snowballed into a whole different life for me.

If not for Delaine, I wouldn't know no less than 8 very important folks in my life today. Three of whom are boys who had a huge impact on my heart, and my emotional self. For good and bad. I lusted after one for over a year; one was a mess but I liked him okay, and the third just won't go away. I have a whole Girlie Alliance b/c of Delaine. I wouldn't know Heather, Sarah, Jennifer, or Wendi without her. I wouldn't have been at Jennifer's wedding or a hundred other things tiny and not so tiny.

Without Delaine, I wouldn't live in the apartment I live in now. I remember when she called me up and and alerted me to it. I wasn't even thinking about moving. But somehow, I just... did.

I know everyone you meet changes your life or your direction in some way. I can see that in abstract ways with all the people I love. Somethings are more tangible. Some are vague. With Delaine, it is crystal clear. I feel blessed for knowing her. All the things she has done for me are great and generous. Some are small. Some are bigger than I can say. She's been my good friend. She's done a lot for me. Things I bet she doesn't even know. We've gone through breakups and moves and birthday parties and baby showers. Real life stuff. Things I won't ever forget.

Without her I would not be who I am.

I'm so happy for the journey she is about to take. That she gets to have a new adventure and a new different life. But I will miss all the little things that we do together. I am going to miss knowing she's around the corner. I'll miss our coffee mornings and our nights meeting up at the Behan. I won't lose touch with her, but I'll miss knowing she's in JP. In a way, she IS JP to me, and I will miss that too.

There are so many things I could list, but mostly I am just going to miss her.

because I said so