Tuesday, October 19, 2004

The Ballad of Elroy

Why, hello.
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I am Elroy.

I am 6 years old. I think. Sometimes I act like I am seven or four and sometimes I just don't know. You can ask my mom.

I love emery boards. I think they are fabulous. I bite them - they are delicious. Mmm, nail files.

Come here, I'll rub my gums on you!

Hey! Where are you going?

I'll follow you in the bathroom. My beds in there, you know?
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This is MY room.

Why are you shutting the door? I can open the door.
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Hello!?! Rudeness!

I can jump very high in the air. It's true. I will only jump for tinsel balls. If you throw some OTHER kind of ball, I will just sit there and stare at you. I deserve SPARKLES and TINSEL! Anything less is RIDICULOUS! I will not dignify that rubber ball with even a GLANCE OF INTEREST. Puh-leeeze.

What are you working on? Are you trying to read something? Can I see it? What is it? Can I help? I think I could lay on that.
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Did you bring that paper bag home for me? Or even better, is it a BOX? Boxes RULE! But don't try to pet me in there. In the box, I become invincible! I am The King of The Box!
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When you come in the bathroom at night, you will wonder where I am. I'm not in my bed.

Or in the window I like to sit in.

No, I'll mix it up. I am in the sink! The sink is a great bed for me! My fat butt BARELY FITS in there! I love it! Viva, the bathroom sink! Try it! It's AWESOME! It confuses everyone!

If I lay on my back with my stomach in the air, aren't I cute?
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You would think that means I want you to pet me on my belly, right? Well, YOU WOULD BE WRONG!
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Oh... wait. I'm sorry.

Please don't leave.

I love you. Pet me again. Aren't I beautiful? Are you going to pet my belly?


. . .

Oh no. I did it again.

I'm so ashamed.

I love you.
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Let's never fight again.

because I said so